I'm in the airport again. It feels like it has been forever since I traveled anywhere for pleasure. The last two sets of flights were to Hawaii to be with my mother-in-law after she had a heart attack. Since then DaLeiLei and I have made travel plans and had them thwarted multiple times due to family health concerns. This trip feels rushed and like I need to do it to get away from the rest of my life.

I've spent the last nine months trying to be a help to family members with very little success in that realm. It feels like the more I want to help, the less my help is wanted and that I just tend to upset peeps instead of comforting them. Unfortunately, now, I don't really feel like I have the strength to do it any more and I'm mostly numb and uncaring at this point. I think I'm beyond empathy at the moment. I'm sick of everyone and everything and am ready to head back to Asia where I was much, much happier one year ago.

Instead, I'm on my way to England and hope to find some stress relief in visiting loved ones there.

At the end of this trip we're getting on a cruise ship that sails from Barcelona to Miami. I'm thinking of stopping there for a while instead of going back to California. It at least sounds warmer and like there might be a chance of fishing if I hang out there.